I discovered this little essay which was written on 22/02/2007, 15:00pm
(It seems as though this battle has raged within me, as far as I can remember)

We are constantly expanding our capacity. We crave new experiences. There is an insatiable drive, urgency and passion, to collect memories, flavors, ideas, friends, objects and possessions.

Gradually we become weary from our incessant searching, toiling and expanding … satisfaction denied.

What drives and motivates us to embrace success and following that, excess? Is it not ultimately our goal to create the ideal circumstances, infrastructure, network and setting or environment, wherein and from where we are comfortably able to create our ultimate work of art, our reason for being?

Is there not a point, perhaps an awareness of when and where we start becoming weary, the critical shift, when we are warned that we have indeed already passed that point?

Do we in fact ever get so far as to clearly identify and then attempt to, or complete that ultimate, unique creation which reflects our true nature?

Are we not so totally overwhelmed with the permutations and temptations of possibility, choices and consequences, that we never reach the ultimate plateau of integrating all of our experience, into a distinctly original blend, which would give each individual his unique aroma and footprint?

When we STOP!  The compounded energy we normally exert to acquire, could internalize and fuel the personal ‘work’ that beckons and awaits us. However, if we do not create, could this force have the potential to destroy us? 

Is there any point in accumulating if we do not eventually internalize?

Are we not as hollow as the books lining our shelves, but that we have no true knowledge of?  The fuller our mansions and passports become, the emptier our souls? What have we really achieved, such restless wanderers always searching and acquiring and never finding or truly possessing?

One’s energy has to be drawn inwards, where it must be allowed to percolate. Time for reflection must be a creative priority. Only then, will each individual be in a position (after correctly calculating from the blend of his uniquely diverse experiences, and his deepest feelings of soul) to wisely report and harness, his innate accumulated wisdom.